A Dear Friend, Deeply Missed

During your lifetime, you encounter people, many of whom you do not or cannot remember. You make acquaintances, contacts, and on rare occasions - friends. Of these friends, each of them are completely different. Some are people you do things with, others are friends you can talk to, and rarely someone comes along that takes a special place in your heart.

In 2004, I was introduced to Vanny (or Ny as we called him) - a 40-year old Cambodian man, who had been hired to drive for us. The first day we met, I really liked him. He was someone who knew how to work hard, was disciplined, and was a man of integrity.

When we moved to Cambodia he and I would go to coffee every morning. He would help me with my Khmer language and I would help him with English. We would talk about family, life, and work. We laughed a lot at the plight of humanity and the struggles of Cambodia. He was a joy to be with.

We also worked together. Ny was capable of so much more than driving, so we promoted him to the Director of Security and Facilities. We worked together on establishing ARC, we did family assessments, went to court with clients, and even argued over issues.

Ny came from a litany of hard circumstances. He watched his father murdered under the Khmer Rouge, fought as a child soldier against Vietnam in the 1980's, and suffered a number of financial difficulties in his youth. And yet, through it all, Ny was always positive about life and work. He came to work with a smile and a great attitude.

On top of that, we had grown to love each other. Athena and I were paying for his daughter to attend private school and English lessons. Ny had become very protective of my family and insisted on sleeping on my couch when I was out of town to make sure they were safe. As well, I was addicted to Vietnamese coffee, so Ny would ensure that my coffee was always waiting for me in the morning - no matter what!

I could spend pages describing the times we had together, the love he showed me and our family always, and the commitment to our friendship. Even after we had formed TCI, Ny would spend his off hours helping me with administrative things and driving me around. In October we spent a couple of days together. We said we would get together in November when I returned from Indonesia, but it would never happen.

While consulting on a project in Indonesia, I received a call from Athena that Ny was sick and in the hospital. Within a couple of days, the doctors discovered that Ny had AIDS. Within the span of the next two days, Ny died from this horrible disease. The grief from the loss of my friend has been very heavy and I have struggled with how to live with his absence.

After I returned from Indonesia, I went to Ny's grave site with his wife and nephew. It was a time to console them and to ensure that they knew the love and commitment to our friendship. We will continue to help support their children and honor the friendship in any way that we are capable. Cambodia has experienced yet another loss of a wonderful person who was committed to changing the world. He is a dear friend, deeply missed.

Holly Movie - Screening in Portland

Once in a while there are films worth seeing. More so, films on human trafficking are often Hollywood grade entertainment and fail to really address the heart of the issue. The movies "Human Trafficking" and "Trade" are two films that failed to really make the grade. "Holly" on the other hand, really addresses the complexity of the issue, as well as, what is needed to help make a difference.

November 30th, we had the pleasure of hosting "Holly" and one of its producers, Adi Ezroni, in Portland for a screening of the film. We had a great turn out for the film, including a large number of Cambodian-Americans. The film is about a young Vietnamese girl, trafficked into Cambodia, where she encounters and American who wants to help her escape.

Watching the film, I was stunned by the overall authenticity of the situations, the characters, and the emotions conveyed. At one point in the film, Holly is brought into a shelter, where she wrestles with the dichotomy of being freed from slavery only to be put into an institution. I cannot tell you how many times I have lived this moment - the first day of a young lady coming into your program and the emotional struggle.

The end of the movie is really a pivotal moment - it leaves it up to the viewer to decide Holly's fate. In many ways, the plight or future of all of the Holly's in Cambodia is up to us. I would encourage you to see the film and allow it to impact you regarding the reality of this important issue.

Journal - First Week

The first week back was pretty interesting, to say the least. Due to a typhoon off of Taipei, my flight was delayed at every point, including an extra stop in Bangkok, which involved an overnight stay in the terminal. To wrap it all up, my year long visa just expired, so I had to stand in line for an hour, only to discover that my luggage was lost in Taipei somewhere. With the clothes I had on for the past three days, I was feeling a bit down.

To top it off, my apartment does not fall into the luxury category - steep stairs, a labrynth of locks and a room with a broken bed, a shower that cleans the toilet (meaning they face each other in a practical way!) Besides the ability to meet all of my hygeine needs at once, I was feeling really out of sorts. Trevor Sworn, a good friend, went way out of his way to make sure I got settled in and had some basic necessities in place. Once I got a decent cold shower in, I felt like I could face the world.

Vanny, a Cambodian who I had befriended in 2004, contacted me to tell me that he wanted to help me in any way he could. He has a busy work schedule, but in spite of it, he took me around to get my visa, deal with my luggage issue (I got it back in a day due to his persistance). As well, he kept my old phone SIM - which if anyone has done this before - is a saving grace. I have all of my contacts and information in my palm again - nothing could have felt better at the moment. You don't realize how dependent we are on technology until it is gone.

Later in the week, I spent some time with the girls at TCI and started working with the staff. Things are looking really good for all of the girls. Many positive things have been coming together and I will be sharing them with you as they develop. As well, I will start focusing on some important aspects of what is occuring here in regard to sex trafficking. Please continue sending in e-mails regarding this blog - it has been encouraging and inspiring.

Jaya Sry, our Cambodian Director, has been doing some wonderful networking and preparation for the next couple of months. The picture above is from our trip to the water park with the girls. More to come...