Let Your Heart Break

Every night I heard the rhythm of rape-for-profit. It was all that I could do to try to sleep at night. I spent my days feeding and holding children with severe mental and physical disabilities; the last thing that I wanted to do was go to sleep in a brothel buried in the forgotten corners of Saigon.

As soon as the sun set, management would place numbers on the doors of the vacant rooms in the hotel. Minutes later, girls and boys would arrive on the back of motorbikes and get directed as to which room they were to occupy. After that, the johns would show up, a group composed of a disturbing blend of natives and Western tourists.

And for nearly twelve hours, from sundown to sun up, these men would filter in and out of the rooms that held the girls and boys captive.

I have to confess, I was more annoyed than I was heartbroken for the victims of rape. But two weeks later, I was curled up in a ball on the rooftop of a hotel in Phnom Penh convulsing from the reality of what I had experienced in Vietnam – and then from what I was witnessing in Cambodia.

My heart was breaking in the most painful way imaginable.

I heard someone say a few years ago, “Our hearts must break before our hands can move.” Until that experience in Phnom Penh, I had never really experienced a genuine shattering of my most intimate visions and dreams for life; equally, I’ve never been more provoked to movement.

For four years, I’ve educated myself as extensively as possible on the issue of human trafficking. I’ve attended conferences, written articles, spoken at events, engaged in conversations, and even traveled back to Southeast Asia to assist other organizations, such as Transitions, in their efforts to plant a future in the hearts of survivors of modern day slavery.

But you want to know what the hardest thing for me is? The hardest thing for me is when I’m standing in front of a group of grown men, with their focus fixed like flint on everything but the thing that I’m talking about, and knowing that I’m going to walk away having made no dent in their hearts.

It’s discouraging when hearts don’t care. Yet… there’s hope.

I was recently at a fundraising event for an anti-trafficking non-profit that assists victims of childhood sexual abuse and sex trafficking in Atlanta. Some friends and I had created a walk-thru experience of a typical American girl and her journey into, and out of, sex trafficking.

Hundreds of people walked through the exhibit, but one of the most moving visuals I had from that evening was seeing grown men – fathers, sons, and possibly abusers – standing in a river of tears at the end of the exhibit. Their hearts had shattered as they moved through the story of a little girl’s life gone awry.

It says a lot about the power of story.

For me, my heart was broken in Cambodia so that I could affect change on the injustice of modern day slavery. For some women, the thought of abuse is provocation enough. And for grown men, perhaps they have to walk through an experience before they “get it”.

The point is: I’ve been moved to action, but I guess I’m wondering though… have you let your heart break yet?

Matthew Snyder is a twenty-something writer, abolitionist, and creative living in Atlanta, GA. You can read his blog and follow him on Twitter @matthewlasnyder

If you are interested in contributing to this blog, please contact us at: info@transitionsglobal.org.

Learning Lessons from Aftercare

Working with survivors of sex trafficking is difficult work. There are no easy solutions and there is not a singular way to do this 'right'. In fact, at this moment in history, we are a learning community, exploring the best options for services and models of care. We have chosen an approach that is highly individual and we are focused on quality care. This means that the cost of 'doing business' is much higher than the typical model, which provides basic needs, love, and some specialized services.

Instead, we are taking the approach of 'this is what we would do for our own daughters', which creates a much more challenging situation. Girls that have been sexually trafficked are not your 'normal' teenager. They are girls that have been exploited and exposed to some pretty horrible things. They have been mistreated, abused, and conditioned to respond to things like 'love' in a much different way than a normal, healthy teenage girl. They see things through a lens of their experiences and perceive the world in a skewed way.


Our job, is to create a safe place for girls to begin the process of re-conditioning their emotions, perceptions, and view of the world in a healthier way. That means, for girls, that they need a place (and a program/staff) where they can talk about their pain, their experiences, their hopes, and their dreams for the future. Transitions Global's approach is a holistic one - so we incorporate a highly therapeutic environment for girls to work through their trauma, but at the same time, also providing a 'home like' environment for girls to belong and be a part of a family. Life skills, socialization, education, and lots of love (and patience) go into our work in Cambodia.

The area of victim services to this population is continuing to grow. As we do, it will be important that we seek quality over quantity and look for new and innovative ways to help victims heal. Not just healing to the place of a 'survivor', but beyond that. We need to help survivors develop the strength and capacity to engage in the world and make a difference in the next generation. We owe it to them and we owe it to the next generation of vulnerable girls and women globally.

If any of you reading have insights into what 'healing' looks like or ideas about recovering from trauma, we welcome your comments. We don't have all of the answers, but we are committed to seeking them out - because, it is what we would do for our own daughters.

A Culture of Indifference (R Rated)

WARNING: The following post has some very serious content. If you are easily offended, read it anyway - it could wake you up to the issue of sexual of minors in America. As a father of two daughters, the issue of sex trafficking has strong personal implications. The famous phrase by Martin Luther King Jr. that "A threat to justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" ring equally true - the indifference to sexual exploitation anywhere is indifference to sexual exploitation in your own backyard (home, neighborhood, city).
If we are willing to ignore the wholesale exploitation of teens in Cambodia, India, or anywhere else in the world, we may find ourselves with an epidemic in our own country. We may also find a society that is anaesthetised to the abuse, neglect, and exploitation of children. We must be willing to combat this for the sake of children globally - the future of society really does depend on it. I am not just 'crying wolf' - I have seen this close up around the world. We are talking about millions of young people; the future generation being sexually exploited and devalued.

What do we think this will bring to the next generation? If we are willing to sow indifference to children being sexually harmed, are we equally willing to reap the consequences? How about the consequences locally, right here in America? The truth is - we already experience it. It is here. News and media are beginning to elevate the issue of sex trafficking in America, particularly that of children. But, I am not sure we are ready to digest the reality.

I think the startling thing we are beginning to realize is that this is bigger, more complex, and disturbing than we would have ever thought. Articles emerging with minors 'pimping' out other minors. Parents, other adults, and even police officers trafficking children for sex. As a professional in the anti-trafficking field, we are always challenged by the issue of girls 'choosing' to be involved in prostitution. This deeply disturbs me that as a society, we actually have the inclination to believe that a 16 year old girl choosing to engage in commercial sex is actually a viable and acceptable option.Yet, I look at the media (not as solely responsible - (I volley between "art imitating life" and "life imitating art") and how girls are portrayed, how prostitution is glamorized at some level, and how there is a growing materialism in America to an extreme. This has created an attractive lure for young girls that are susceptible to being manipulated or coerced into 'the life'. As an example, 50 Cent is a celebrity, looked up to by youth.

Here are some of his recent lyrics from his song "P-I-M-P":
"She got a thing for that Gucci, that, that Prada
That BCBG, Burberry Dolce and Gabana
She feed them foolish fantasies, they pay her cause they wanna
I spit a little G man, and my game got her
A hour later, have that ass up in the Ramada..."
"...She like my style, she like my smile, she like the way I talk
She from the country, think she like me cause I'm from New York
I ain't that n***a trying to holla cause I want some h**d
I'm that n***a trying to holla cause I want some bread
I could care less how she perform when she in the bed
B**ch hit that track, catch a date, and come and pay the kid
Look baby this is simple, you can't see
You f**king with me, you f**king with a P-I-M-P"



What is the motivation for this kind of attitude and perspective? Money. This is a crime that is profitable. One girl, at 17, had made over a million dollars. People have said that the recession has caused Americans to reevaluate their values, yet sex trafficking in minors continues to be a cottage industry in the United States. What is my point? My point is this - our reaction to sex trafficking as a society makes us want to cringe and turn away. We don't want to see this. It's paralyzing. It's overwhelming and we feel helpless. We feel as though there is nothing we can do. Oh, certainly, we feel equal amounts of outrage - street justice comes to mind. But, neither of these are helping victims. Instead, we need to look for how we can make an impact. It is not an unsolvable problem, rather; this is something we can eliminate - we can bring an end to this. There are many things you can do:
1. Support your local and federal law enforcement agencies that investigate and prosecute sex trafficking cases.

2. Support laws that convict criminals (pimps, traffickers, buyers) and protect victims of sex trafficking.

3. Support, volunteer with, and encourage the agencies and organizations that are fighting sex trafficking and assisting victims.

4. Talk about this - sex trafficking is an invisible crime that only goes on undetected because we don't talk about it and bring it into our public forums.

"So, get involved. Find out who is doing what in your city and state - then, decide what it is that you can offer. Don't be paralyzed; do something - give money, give your time, commit to making a difference! Transitions Global has been moving its efforts to develop a domestic sex trafficking shelter forward, but it is a long journey. In the meantime, there are a number of great organizations that are doing good work in this field (there are many horrible ones too!). I encourage you to support the efforts of my heroes in the field: GEMS-Girls, SARC, and many, many more are doing great work in this field.